Please god pull my ears out

So this guy is talking. A lot. Loud. Every thought is worthy of everyone hearing it:

• Doug Fabrizio drives him crazy.
• They've changed how trains are driven. It's not as smooth as it used to be.
• His brother used to have a gun, because he found the cleaning kit
• There was a bat that was rabid, and the teacher's aide touched it. When did rabies shots get so expensive?
• He really likes The Office. He thinks Pam is cute, although he doesn't tell them to women. He also thinks Rainn Wilson's parents were hippies, who added an N to his name.
• When they were against the ERA, it was because they pretended it was because of unisex bathrooms, even though they already existed.
• He has a good imitation of LDS accents.
• He also like My Name is Earl. He really liked the one where that one woman played the manager of the white trash trailer park.
• He doesn't patronise Walgreens. When he used to go to City Council Meetings, he didn't like their attitude. He considers them to have bad architecture.

That was just a sampling. Oh. My. God.