I woke up, bed was totally messed up, which never happens; I'm a neat sleeper, or at least a fairly contained one.
I dreamed on and off about my (ex)wife all night. Mostly dreams of familiarity, dreams of what we were supposed to be, or dreams that seemed to recognize our loss. And to make it all cheesy enough, I have "Take your breath away" by Sarah Maclachlan going through my head, like a soundtrack to my apparently depressing life. Yeah, I know it's about stalkers, but it's also about..."And after I/dry away your tears/I'll take your breath away..."
I give her my help and support freely. I still take care of her. I feel better when I do. But I don't get the help I want from her. I feel close to panic attacks, I get overwhelming sadness and I just want a hug, some contact, and I can't get it. I feel like she loves me, but doesn't want to love me. I want to tell her her sadness is because she knows it. She needs a best friend. I feel like I give that to her. But I don't get my best friend.
I dreamed on and off about my (ex)wife all night. Mostly dreams of familiarity, dreams of what we were supposed to be, or dreams that seemed to recognize our loss. And to make it all cheesy enough, I have "Take your breath away" by Sarah Maclachlan going through my head, like a soundtrack to my apparently depressing life. Yeah, I know it's about stalkers, but it's also about..."And after I/dry away your tears/I'll take your breath away..."
I give her my help and support freely. I still take care of her. I feel better when I do. But I don't get the help I want from her. I feel close to panic attacks, I get overwhelming sadness and I just want a hug, some contact, and I can't get it. I feel like she loves me, but doesn't want to love me. I want to tell her her sadness is because she knows it. She needs a best friend. I feel like I give that to her. But I don't get my best friend.
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