More things I've learned

I was talking to someone we'll call HG last night. She's my age, has a five-year old, works in corporate america. She seems nice but I only have one picture of her. We're meeting Saturday night. But as we were making plans she made a comment about her physical appearance that I could neither prove nor disprove from her picture. And I couldn't get her to tell me if she was telling the truth last night.

I also met AM in person. She's almost, but not quite as cute as I thought she'd be in person. She's a little, well, white-trashy. I think she's pegged me as "friend" but who knows. We had beers and talked about Match and her life as a serial stalkee. We've talked since but she either doesn't get flirting or really wants to be friends. And this will make me seem like a jerk, but she's not smart enough to be my friend... though I think we could be friendly and be physical. It's still a discovery process. She's kind of primal and wild and maybe that could be fun. I think she also has drama written all over her, but who knows.

Who else is there? FF? Yeah, FF. 11 years my junior, kids. Unclear if she wants more. We chat a lot using IM, also a ripe subject for a post. But she's cute in a slightly pudgy soft nerdy kind of way. But she's also beneath me (if we can use that kind of language in this century) socially and educationally. She's not as smart as I am, but that's not a requirement. She's curious and has lots of stuff going on. I mean, I couldn't raise two kids and work and try to go to school. So she's got something going on. But I also feel vaguely creepy? voyeuristic? talking to someone who's a kid in some ways. She's the one I mentioned as having the two sides of being unjaded but also kind of naive and sheltered. So we've chatted online almost every night this week and I have no idea what it means or whether she sees me as a possibility or as someone who's funny and online. And I don't know if I feel the same way about her... I almost feel like I'm taking advantage, that it's like an expert boxer going against an enthusiastic newcomer. Without trying, I could stun her... she's have no idea what hit her, and that's if I wasn't trying to deceive her. I'm not. And I don't see this as a battle. But looking at it like Nick Naylor would, she's got no defenses against me. My arguments, even my negotiations, would be like Nick and the Senate Staffer... it would be over before she knew what happened. At it worries me that I in effect don't know my own strength when it comes to this.

So that's that. And I haven't gotten to FL yet; she's the one I wrote the note to. It's not accurate to have described her as a friend, that was just a euphemism, I suppose. She's my age, has a daughter who's, well, almost of an age that I might not feel too guilty being attracted to her. the daughter that is. She lives farther away than I'd like. She contacted me, I don't know anything. I wonder if I am trying to scare her away... I'm not 100% sure I would have contacted her if she hadn't contacted me first. But I don't know because she didn't come up in my search because of the distance factor.

Out of batteries and no powercord. Maybe more later. Well, more later... maybe more tonight since it seems that I'm solo tonight.